The Yaoi Kitty's Collection of Quotes

"CAPTAIN JOHN EGBERT FROM THE EARLIER SCENE, NOW CALLED JOHN 2 BECAUSE THERE’S ANOTHER JOHN:..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 05:44:11 -0400

“CAPTAIN JOHN EGBERT FROM THE EARLIER SCENE, NOW CALLED JOHN 2 BECAUSE THERE’S ANOTHER JOHN: whoever thought micron-thick carbon nanofiber was a good material for pants needs more of a mocking than the 2410s gave them.
JADE 2: oh bite me!! i can dig up pics of you in the autochthines! >:B
JADE 2: in fact already have!!
DAVESPRITE: youre in a fucking loincloth bro
DAVESPRITE: oh god what
DAVESPRITE: why is that a rotating image
DAVESPRITE: why is there no back to that thing oh god wait theres a thong
DAVESPRITE: why most of all can i not look away?
JOHN 2: because i put a lot of work into sculpting those glutes, dude.
JOHN: kill me now.
JOHN 2: vriska, that’s rhetorical, put your sword down goddamit!”

- Captain John Egbert, Dr. Jade Harley, Davesprite, and John Egbert, ‘Inoculation’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"KANAYA 2: (I Apologize For Forcing My Way Into This Whispered Conversation But Could I Get A Tissue..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:11:05 -0400

“KANAYA 2: (I Apologize For Forcing My Way Into This Whispered Conversation But Could I Get A Tissue Sample From You Before We Leave)
KANAYA 2: (I Believe It Would Be Very Helpful In Examining The Rainbow Drinker Phenomenon)
KANAYA: (Um)
KANAYA: (I Suppose So)
KANAYA: (As Long As It Is Not Collected Via Chainsaw)
KANAYA 2: (I Do Have Some Very Small Chainsaws)”

- Dr. Kanaya Maryam and Kanaya Maryam, ‘Inoculation’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"ROSE: It rather disturbs me that an iteration of our “story” consisting of teenagers..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:02:37 -0400

“ROSE: It rather disturbs me that an iteration of our “story” consisting of teenagers playing a game has more fatalities than one of young adults at war.”

- Rose Lalonde, ‘Inoculation’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"KARKAT: STILL NOT TALKING TO YOU, QUADRANT-PERVERTING-FUCKUP-EGBERT. KARKAT: YOU ARE MAKING STRIDER..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:48:42 -0400

“KARKAT: STILL NOT TALKING TO YOU, QUADRANT-PERVERTING-FUCKUP-EGBERT.
KARKAT: YOU ARE MAKING STRIDER LOOK POLITE AND CULTURALLY SENSITIVE.
KARKAT: DAVE FUCKING STRIDER.”

- Karkat Vantas, ‘Inoculation’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"“Yeah, I’m sure there’s no downsides to building your respiteblocks with the nasal..."

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:06:58 -0400

“

“Yeah, I’m sure there’s no downsides to building your respiteblocks with the nasal passage drippings of the eldritch beyond-gods,” Karkat mumbles.

“Ehh, relax. The Noble Circle of Horrorterrors are chill dudes.”

“John, last time I let you insane fuckers drag me into that anti-dimension they asked me if I would prefer to die by impalement or implosion.”

“They’re chill, I didn’t say they weren’t weird,” you laugh. “And you’re fucking lucky. I got, among tactics from a battle six months ago and desperate pleas for me to avoid someone called Jack Noir, tips on troll/human sexual positions.”

“Fuck. You win.” Karkat stops and turns back. “The fuck could they possibly tell you in that field that you don’t already know?”

“Don’t ask.”

”

- Karkat Vantas and John Egbert, ‘Homeostasis’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"“You’re sure the eight million people here don’t mind having a couple drunk trolls..."

Fri, 17 May 2013 22:58:58 -0400

“

“You’re sure the eight million people here don’t mind having a couple drunk trolls build another floor.”

“I filed the building permits and got an approval ten minutes ago, Karkat. We’ve had worse architects.”

”

- Karkat Vantas and John Egbert, ‘Homeostasis’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"I’m about as violent and intimidating as a pink butterfly. That got stuck on a marshmallow."

Thu, 16 May 2013 17:44:17 -0400

“I’m about as violent and intimidating as a pink butterfly. That got stuck on a marshmallow.”

- Dan, “ENVY” by danisnotonfire (YouTube)

"Eridan has no taste in alcohol. He drinks whatever is offered him, available to him, or just passing..."

Thu, 16 May 2013 16:09:57 -0400

“Eridan has no taste in alcohol. He drinks whatever is offered him, available to him, or just passing by him while unguarded. Unsurprisigly he drinks like a fish.”

- Eridan Ampora, ‘Homeostasis’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"Headcanon: Kankri is a bit soft around the waist due to all the working out he doesn’t do."

Thu, 16 May 2013 15:40:24 -0400

“Headcanon: Kankri is a bit soft around the waist due to all the working out he doesn’t do.”

- spiritofstars (Tumblr)

五尾 {fivetail}: also i've decided john spends the night

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:03:30 -0400

五尾 {fivetail}: also i've decided john spends the night
五尾 {fivetail}: no homo
Brennan: a lil homo
五尾 {fivetail}: tiniest bit homo
Brennan: trace amounts of homo
五尾 {fivetail}: 2% homo
五尾 {fivetail}: like milk
The Jarl of Riften: 2% HOMO
Brennan: Five that isn't how milk works
五尾 {fivetail}: IT'S HOW JOHNKAT WORKS

"Presumably, Commander Hadfield isn’t busy commanding things 24/7. He has some free time, and it’s no..."

Wed, 15 May 2013 18:26:00 -0400

“Presumably, Commander Hadfield isn’t busy commanding things 24/7. He has some free time, and it’s no skin off anyone’s back how he spends it (assuming his hobby isn’t drilling holes in walls).

”

- ‘ISS Music Video’ by Randall Munroe (what-if.xkcd.com)

"Tietra: ARROW’D! Tietra: Ow, my most of me!"

Mon, 13 May 2013 18:21:10 -0400

“Tietra: *ARROW’D!*
Tietra: Ow, my most of me!”

- Tietra Heiral, ‘Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions — Chapter One’ by cyberphuk (Tumblr)

"VS: Gogdamn we argue a8out everything, don’t we? RL: Yes. KM: Yes KM: Except The Fact That..."

Sat, 11 May 2013 22:41:49 -0400

“VS: Gogdamn we argue a8out everything, don’t we?
RL: Yes.
KM: Yes
KM: Except The Fact That We Argue About Everything”

- Vriska Serket, Rose Lalonde, and Kanaya Maryam, ‘Antigen (Ascension)’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"RL: Team Leader, I fondly hope this is going to take less time than most major land wars. RL:..."

Wed, 08 May 2013 18:45:46 -0400

“RL: Team Leader, I fondly hope this is going to take less time than most major land wars.
RL: However amusing it might be to see a regiment stalled and crushed by four people.”

- Rose Lalonde, ‘Antigen (Ascension)’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"“Justice demands superiors and inferiors, and obedience to the law.” “FUCK..."

Wed, 08 May 2013 18:44:09 -0400

“

“Justice demands superiors and inferiors, and obedience to the law.”

“FUCK THAT.” Goddamn, who’s so pissed about - oh shit, it’s you. Well, fair enough. You’ve wanted to say this for months. “Justice demands empathy, TZ. That’s why you can’t find it in the Empire. That’s why you have so many contradictions tearing you apart. That’s why you’re so empty inside.”

“Empty?” The crackling halo of electricity around her head sparks and surges. “I am a god, Strider.”

“Join the club. Did it solve things for you?”

After what feels like an eternal pause, Pyrope lowers her head. “No.”

”

- Terezi Pyrope and Dave Strider, ‘Antigen (Ascension)’ by Outside_Context_Problem (Archive of Our Own)

"Usually Farfarello would have snarked that the mindbreaker spent a lot of the time swanning around..."

Wed, 08 May 2013 18:39:12 -0400

“

Usually Farfarello would have snarked that the mindbreaker spent a lot of the time swanning around upset about various things but didn’t want to rock the boat when it looked like the telepath’s tender emotions would work in his favor. Besides, having Crawford and the mindbreaker have makeup sex in the next apartment might spur and inspire his kitten to greater heights.

Instead Farfarello answered, ~ Enjoy the making up and try to make it last as long as possible. ~

~ I fully intend to. Ta! ~

~ See you later. Much later. ~

“You’re so generous,” Aya said.

“I’m renowned for my generosity,” Farfarello answered.

“I’m sure that’s not what you’re renowned for.”

”

- Farfarello, Schuldig, Brad Crawford, and Fujimiya Aya, ‘Glass Houses’ by Viridian5 (LiveJournal)

"He didn’t have any shots of Schuldig sunbathing or swimming nude that one day since those images had..."

Wed, 08 May 2013 17:26:53 -0400

“

He didn’t have any shots of Schuldig sunbathing or swimming nude that one day since those images had burned into his retinas. Besides, Crawford’s mother already had unseemly perverted thoughts about Schuldig and didn’t need encouragement. (The horror.)

It put Nagi in the odd position of being protective of Schuldig. For sexual stuff! Because he didn’t think Schuldig would be able to handle one particular woman who wanted to get into his pants! It was *ludicrous*.

”

- Naoe Nagi, Schuldig, and Evelyn Crawford, ‘Glass Houses’ by Viridian5 (LiveJournal)

"“Maybe we should get home on our own instead of waiting for Crawford and Schuldig to arrive in a..."

Wed, 08 May 2013 17:24:34 -0400

“

“Maybe we should get home on our own instead of waiting for Crawford and Schuldig to arrive in a different car.”

“The mindbreaker said there might be people hunting us.”

“So we walk around while keeping full awareness of our surroundings.” At least they didn’t look bloody enough to catch the attention of innocent passersby. “We should be able do that; we’re *assassins*.”

Farfarello laughed. “I can’t argue with that.”

”

- Fujimiya Aya and Farfarello, ‘Glass Houses’ by Viridian5 (LiveJournal)

"What’s that sound? Oh, it’s my dignity. In flames."

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:42:19 -0400

“What’s that sound? Oh, it’s my dignity. In flames.”

- Dan, “DRAMA LLAMA” by danisnotonfire (YouTube)

"Ok, putting the jet engine on top didn’t work. Maybe we should try something different. … why..."

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:39:00 -0400

“

Ok, putting the jet engine on top didn’t work. Maybe we should try something different.

… why did we think that would work? Forget that idea.

”

- ‘Train Loop’ by Randall Munroe (what-if.xkcd.com)